Say No to Transform Your Life

Does this sound familiar “Hey friend, can you help out with the bake sale next month?” “Uh…OK, sure I can help.”

It seemed so far away at the time. But then next month rolls around and you find that you’ll have to give up your meal prep and workout time to bake cookies for the bake sale, then inevitably try some, and sit at a table selling them for hours.

Then multiply that by 10 things every month. Little things, big things and everything in between. Eating up your days. And most of these things aren’t important to you at all.

We Can’t Say Yes to Everything

We can’t say yes to everything; we all know this, but we do it anyway. Why? Partly because we think it will protect our relationships with others. We want to make them happy, make their lives better because we love them and care about them.

And even with strangers we say yes. To be helpful, to keep up the appearance that we can do it all. It gives us a temporary peace. Yes, I’ll do this - I don’t want to argue or worry about it. Until it backfires: No, I can’t do all of this! I need help! I don’t know why I agreed to it! 

What Does a Yes Really Mean?

• Other people’s priorities are more important than mine
• I won’t have time for rest, recovery and self-care
• I’ll end up frustrated and stressed
• I won’t get to do something I’m actually excited about
• I won’t have time for my close friends and family

Only Give the Enthusiastic Yes

Challenge yourself to give a neutral answer – “Let me look at my schedule and get back to you by noon tomorrow.” Then take time to think it through. Do you have time? Do you want to do this? Is it truly important that you do it? Set a specific time you will get back to the person to ensure that you will really think about it now and respect their time by giving them a timeframe to expect your response. 

One strategy that can help is to make a list of your top three to four priorities and put it somewhere you see it each day. Your phone background, bathroom mirror or your car. And then look at your priorities and ask: Does this request line up with my goals? If not, this is the time for a kind, but firm no. 

Source: The Nourished Path